I needed that…

The break. I needed the break.

I lost my writing mojo for a little while, then I diverted my energy into getting some big projects off the ground; more about those later.

I’ve been thinking and evaluating.

Summing up what it is that is most important to me. I don’t think that this is a new thing, but more a change that has been slowly occurring over a number of months/years.

Mike on Cliff light sky

Renaissance

What do I feel like. I’m still not sure; the process is ongoing. What is certain, is that I’ve made significant progress. It’s so important to recognise progress because if you don’t, when you hit those inevitable walls, you’ll get stuck.

Walls are fine. I expect them. I accept how I’ll respond to them and that’s fine.

Walls are an opportunity to rest, place my back against them, and take time to  appreciate how far I’ve come.

Once I catch my breath… push. up and over.

Ownership

I also recognise my weaknesses and I own them. They’re mine! and so is the decision to overcome or succumb to them at any given time.

Even though I hate to admit it, I have a finite amount of energy. Being middle-aged, I recognise when it’s flagging. I spread myself too thin recently; something had to give.

My saving grace, was looking back at how far I’ve come.

climb

While you were gone

I stopped the race to zero. The reason being, I made a life changing decision that threw it all askew.  I cleared all my debt, then added to it, but in a good way. A necessary way. It feels good and not at all the heavy kind of debt.

It feels good because it is part of a plan that has an end date, which is so very, very different from the creeping debt that accumulates over time.

It’s part of a plan that took time in the forming, and whilst it was hard to see how the pieces fit together initially, I had it mapped out. It’s coming together.

If you’re unhappy with a situation, you have two choices; change it or change the way you think about it.

Stay focused, expect the knocks and roll with them; learn from them then push forwards stronger than ever before.

You only ever lose when you stop.

XperiaZ3 722

BSD

PS, thanks for sticking with me! x

Ante-climax

It’s a lovely sunny sunny day here and I’m keen to get outside.

First their rooms need to be tidied; they’re a mess. I manage to pry them out of the bath.

As I moisturise my son’s wrinkles away, I recall a find from last night.

Hey, as I went to draw the downstairs curtains, guess what walked past the window, along the road?

He paused in thought..

“Was it an antelope?”

That kind of took the sting out of my urban fox.

BSD

Well, that moment is ruined.

It’d been a good day.

He’s going to school in September so I’m determined to get him dry by then. Baring a few accidents, he’s actually been quite good.

In big boy pants all day, with a day in the garden and a trip to the park, I began to wonder.

Come bathtime, I was so pleased to see him using the toilet before getting into the shower. I gave praise where it was due.

Well done! You’ve gone the whole day without an accident! I’m so proud of you.

Naked, he leans forwards and grabs his ankles.

“Dad, can you see up my bum?”

Christ.

BSD

Down day

I think I’m exhausted, or pretty close to it.

We’re nearly halfway through the year and it has been a busy one. My writing has suffered.

It doesn’t help that I’m cramming a lot in, including learning two new skills. It means that for the most of the time, I have my head deeply buried in one type of reference medium or another. Luckily I enjoy doing that.

The cubs are on form although he’s a little under the weather. What that does do, is give the three of us the opportunity to cuddle up on the sofa and watch movies.

Never, ever underestimate the power of a down day and a cuddle. It’s almost as if I can feel my batteries recharging.

I’ve even ordered a pizza, rather than cook.

Tommorow, normal service will be resumed. I’ve discovered a new green space near us that we’re going to explore, waterproofs and picnics will be packed.

Adventure calls.

BSD

Questions

It would appear that my tolerance for answering questions, whilst driving, slightly late for work and sleep deprived, wanes at the 1000 (ish) mark.

by 1000, I mean about 7.

and by wanes, I mean makes me nearly collapse at the wheel in tears as I’m so tired.

Happy though.

collapse

BSD

 

What’s crippled daddy today?

Was it a Minion walkie-talkie?

No.

Was it the inexplicably golden painted, Thomas the Tank Engine?

No.

Was it Cat Boy (????)

No.

In a twist away from the usual culprit, Triceratops, it was Velociraptor, in the dark hallway.

I was only heading up to tell the Cat in the Hat and her brother to stop singing ‘Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer’ and go to sleep.

At least it wasn’t the family jewels this time.

BSD

Snow day

And we’ve dug in; but daddy has made an oversight.

We’ve been under some strong weather for the last few days now. It’s no surprise, as the meteorologists have been calling it for a week or so now.

Beware the Beast from the East. So named by the Met Office, scaring old folk and the young in equal measure.

Cold weather is blowing in from the Baltic states and bringing snow with it. It’s quite deep in the east of the country, whilst the rest of us get snow drifts. We all get the high winds and the associated chill that takes -3 down to about -10.

Now any Canadian readers are probably laughing their socks off right now, as these conditions will probably constitute the norm for you folk. Here, we talk about the weather so much its a surprise that we are always so unprepared for it.

pexels-photo-269370.jpeg

School is closed, so I make the decision to keep the youngest off of nursery too, as I’m off work which means that I can switch off the alarm and have a lie in.

Morning arrives and the Saturday routine comes a day early; they jump into my bed and we watch a movie. For once, I’m quite well rested so I watch with them.

Breakfast is 2 hours later than usual – and feels great! I need to adopt this lifestyle full-time.

Reality

I don’t buy into panic buying. No weather system lasts long in this country so I just did a normal shop. But, whilst making the porridge this morning, I realised, that we’ve run out of milk.

We’ll have to go out.

I break the news to the cubs, who usually liking the snow, decided that the wind chill was a factor best observed from the warmth of indoors. We’re going to have to go to the local shops.

The Cat in the Hat (see World Book Day) begins negotiations at the breakfast table.

‘Maybe we could do without milk?’

We can’t. We have to go out.

‘You should probably go without us’

That’s illegal. I’d be jailed.

‘For how long?’

We’re going.

‘But the cupboards are full!’

Not of milk

‘But it’s really cold dad!’

You like the cold

‘My tastes have changed; I’m older’

We’re going

‘Can’t we just use the internet?’

They won’t deliver that small amount of product.

‘Who’s they?’

The 12 Disciples

‘?’

When I was your age, we used to have milkmen. They delivered the milk before morning.

‘Even in this weather?’

Yes

‘Did they die?’

Sometimes.

We’re still going. It’s not far.

‘Wait; we’re walking??’

A wicked smile appears on my face.

Yes; driving is tricky right now.

‘And walking is safer?’

Yes

‘Do the Police know about this?’

They’re busy. We’re still going.

My son looks on; amazed at it all. She’s backed into a corner.

I never thought grocery shopping could be this funny. Bit weird negotiating with the Cat in the Hat though.

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BSD

 

 

Come on….

Ever had one of those days, when after checking your work ‘to do’ list, you immediately buy a lottery ticket?

#truestory

BSD