Exercise in futility..

Albeit a gorgeous one

A spent a short while ironing my toddler son’s clothes for nursery this morning. 

He looked very smart. 


Seconds after I finished getting him dressed, he proceeded to lie on his belly at the top of the stairs and slide down all 14 steps (feet first). 

I had to admire his technique; it was flawless. 

BSD

This weekend…

Well, technically last weekend.  

Saturday 
I’ve decided to give myself a lazy day today. I’m laying in bed watching movies. 
We’ll see how long it lasts. I already feel uncomfortable and I’m finding things to do mentally. Never was very good at relaxing.

 

Still saturday, but a bit later
This is what being lazy looks like to me; Kitchen cleaned, downstairs loo cleaned, all rooms dusted, upstairs bathroom cleaned, ensuite cleaned, wash load done, dishwasher on. I’ve got a feeling that my cooking may suffer.

It did….

BSD

CONTROLLING THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS – time to stop running and start hunting. pt.3

But as I said last week; a day is just a day. We make it what it is and our internal coach has a huge part to play in that.

Neutrality

Ok; we’ve established that now; there is no such thing as a bad day or a good day, but how do we really live up to that? How do you stop that one occurrence in the morning from clouding your whole day?

You need to coach your inner coach, and here is why.

You wake up, you stub your toe getting out of bed; what does your coach have to say about that?

“Awesome start you klutz!”

Now at this point, you have a choice; write it off as a one off or let it snowball..to some degree it does depend on what happens next, or more importantly how you reference what happens next.
A thought that becomes an > expectation that manifests into > a reality that forms an > experience.

Let’s go deeper; what if that whole process I described is repeated, and the experience is the same?

Kolb’s Experiential Cycle

This is a theory that really stuck in my mind when I was studying psychology. My mind likes order and I see in models and algorithms.

Kolb

 

Concrete Experience

You stub your toe; you lose your keys; you get toothpaste on your tie; you ladder your tights; you’re stuck in roadworks….

roadworks

Reflective Observation

You think about what’s happened/happening  and give that event a label mentally.

Abstract Hypothesis

Here is the watershed; the fork in the road. You can label the event as ‘bad luck’, or ‘That wasn’t the outcome I wanted; I should change my approach’. This is the most important part of the cycle and where thoughts are reinforced in our minds.

Fork in the road.jpg

Left or right…?

Active Testing

Deal breaker; if only we recognised it.

Active testing is the part of the scientific method (a set way of doing and testing things. This is where in theory, we test our concrete experience against our perception of the outcome. For example, leaving the house at the same time, taking the same route and becoming stuck at the same set of roadworks, instead of either leaving earlier or taking a different route.

OK, I’ve over simplified things in that example but it serves to illustrate my point.

If you attribute too many experiences to bad luck, you will conclude that you are an unlucky person. This isn’t true.

It self fulfils and we now have a behaviour that is based on those concrete experiences that just keep happening to us. We expect it to happen because it has done so many times before. So we find ourselves in the situation again and guess what? The same thing happens..

Why?

This know as a self fulfilling prophecy and usually climaxes with an ‘I told you that would happen’ from that internal coach. It can work for us, stopping us from engaging in harmful activities, or it can work against us, stopping us from pushing through our barriers.

But if our thoughts are that powerful, what would happen if we could only imagine the best for ourselves, all the time?

Breaking the cycle

Now we know what our limiting beliefs are we need to take action to stop them. This is easier said than done, don’t forget you’ve probably had these thoughts all of your life; I know I have.

Perhaps given to you by your parents then reinforced through those oh so real experiences they are now well and truly engrained.

Technically speaking it should take the same amount of time to rewrite them. If that’s correct, I’ve got something to look forward to on my 86th birthday.

Well I’m not having that; and neither should you!

Next week: Let’s finish this. I’ll explore some scripts that work for me in pt.4

BSD

Champ

Cooking, drinking and thinking…

Thankfully the sun is still shining when I get back to my car and in fact all day, it has been seasonal bliss. 
Ingredients time! I intended to do a shop on the train home but I actually fell asleep! I have a habit of keeping late nights and early mornings and my body is starting to rebel. 

On the way home I visualised salmon, salad onions and vegetable rice smothered in sesame seeds. 

I read somewhere about the benefits of turmeric (I can’t remember exactly what it did) so I got some of that too. Add some paprika and pesto (thinking ahead) and we’re in business. 

I must say I really do have the cooking bug now and it’s a lot of fun, and so much easier to eat healthily. 
Salmon something

Wash a cupful of rice in [filtered] water. Place in a small pan and add more [filtered] water. I’ll stop with the parenthesis soon. Add a dash of sesame oil and a sprinkle of paprika. Place on a low heat. 



Pre-heat the grill to a medium high heat and foil line a grill pan. Wash the salad onions and chop finely. Grab some garlic and chop that too. Drizzle some oil on the foil and add paprika and turmeric. Drop the chopped stuff on it and mix with your hands. 

Wash and dry your hands and then realise that your ingredients will stain anything you touch

Take the salmon and rub it in the chopped stuff; place it all under the grill.


This one is a pretty quick cooker, depending on how you like your salmon. 


From coming in through the door to serving up in under an hour; not bad going. 

Shame it didn’t taste so good. I think i’ll ditch one of the big spices next time. 

Following dinner I spent a considerable part of the evening sitting in the lounge and being with my own thoughts. As the evening drew in I lay there, feet up and sipping wine, thinking. 

Where I am right now is where I need to be right now, but it’s not where I will stay. 

This afternoon’s workout!

Time to shrink the belly

Warm up:

Rowing machine – resistance 6 –

  • 2 mins steady then
  • 15 seconds flat out (and I mean flat out)
  • 45 seconds steady
  • repeat 5 times

Warm down:

2 minutes steady.

 

The work begins

More weigthsEach exercise should be done in sets of 4. Repetitions of 8,5,6 and 12

Chest

  •              Bench Press
  •              Dumbbell Incline Press
  •              Dumbbell Flye
  •              Cable Crossover
  •              Close-Grip Bench Press
  •              Dip
  •              Lying triceps extension
  •              Plank 3 x 1 min

 

That headline pic is me.

BSDWeights

 

CONTROLLING THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS – time to stop running and start hunting. pt.2

What is coaching?

Coaching is a way of improving your ability or performance. We tend to associate coaching with athletes but more and more we see it in the world of work and even daily life.

What does coaching look like?

It quite often happens on a one to one ratio (the most effective way) with the coach and the student. The coach will observe a specific act, performance or behaviour, analyse and then tweak that performance through a number of means in order for the individual to improve in some way.

Why are you discussing coaching? A moment ago we were talking about limiting beliefs?

The two are connected.

So what is the connection?

  • Imagine if you had a coach.
  • One who followed you around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
  • A coach that never takes a holiday, rarely sleeps and better still, works for free.
  • A coach that knows you better than anyone else on Earth; knows your strengths and more importantly, your weaknesses.
  • A coach that really, doesn’t care if they upset you or even reduce you to tears.

I think you know where i’m going with this one.

So ok. We have a coach inside our head who sometimes works against us. Sometimes, it thinks it’s being cruel to be kind. Most of the times, it’s not a very smart coach. Always, absolutely always, it’s an effective coach.

Limiting beliefs>internal thoughts>inner coach..

Thoughts become things

I’d love to claim this one but it’s been around for a while. The power of the mind to create the physical environment has long been recognised and quick search of the internet will show you examples.

Have you ever wondered why a day that starts badly often ends badly and vice versa? Let’s be honest; a day is just a day. We will leave a footprint on that point in time and give it a title, in order to categorise it in our memories.

‘Good’ days have a positive effect on us and therefore anything that happens during that good day will be thought of positively. Again, vice versa, things that happen on a ‘bad’ day will be reflected on badly.

But as I said earlier, a day is just a day. We make it what it is and our internal coach has a huge part to play in that.

Success

I apologise for this cheesiness of this pic but, you get it; right?

Part 3 next week, where I do what I say I’ll do.

I’ve also tried something new; sticking this post to the front page. Let’s see how that works.

BSD

What I was supposed to do today..

Versus what I actually did, are two different things.

I was supposed to go [Kung Fu] training today but as you can probably guess from the headline, I didn’t make it.

The weather is great so I decided that it was an opportunity to get my motorbike out.

What I was supposed to do in June…

Was to MOT my bike. For those not in the know, an MOT is a legal requirement on British roads, giving you an annual declaration of roadworthiness. The cops prefer you to have one too.

What I actually did today…

Was rest, following a very brief sulk.

The cubs are with their mum (technically my weekend but there were family celebrations on her side so we made a deal) and the house is tidy.

I also took the opportunity to connect with all of my new followers, thanks to the amazing Daily Post first friday! what a great idea and I’m so glad I took the opportunity to engage.

Hints and tips are coming in already and I will definitely be rummaging through all of your pages for a good read and some ideas!

FB_IMG_1433333643428.jpg

Not today kung fu kingdom; not today.

BSD

Plan B it is

via Daily Prompt: Jangle

I love the jangle of the bike keys when I take them out of the cupboard.

So here’s the deal;

  • Sunshine? check
  • No kids? check
  • Bike gear? check
  • Training gear? check
  • Certificate of roadworthiness? silence
  • Dammit.

Turns out that the jangle when you put them back is exactly the same.

BSD

 

Things I’m thankful for…

I’m thankful for making it to day 2 of my fitness challenge; work in progress!

I’m thankful for my son, who cried to get into my bed and once I acquiesced, told me he didn’t like the fan and went back to his bed, leaving me wide awake.

I’m thankful for my daughter, who despite being only 7 managed to occupy territory (in my bed) roughly the equivalent of Luxembourg.

I’m thankful for my son, who after his usual bath and bedtime routine dropped a poo bomb that saw us repeating the whole process.

I’m thankful to my daughter, who woke up 20 minutes after I got to bed to get me to choose my favourite character from Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew” (children’s edition) whilst covering my bald head in stickers. I love my life and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Ps; I’m growing things on my window sill now. Lettuce and mint. The idea was to eat more healthily…

DSC_0008.JPG

The mint has gone in gin.

DSC_0009.JPG

BSD

This happened a while ago…

No kids today but i’m up early and off to the city for a meeting. This gives me a rare opportunity to ditch the uniform and dress like a proper grown up.

 

These meetings occur once a quarter and I usually drive, but on this occasion I have opted to take the train, joining the early morning masses. Even after shaving my head, filtering water (in child’s plastic bottle, having discarded my own metal one) i’m out of the door in plenty of time. I even find a parking space at the railway station. I can’t see what the fuss is about so far.

I buy a return ticket. The taxpayer is now £79 worse off. I wonder if the teller had accidently included the previous traveller’s ticket in my price but say nothing.

train station

 

Walking to my train I pass a sign informing passengers that due to the change of seasons and the potential for leaves on the line, some services may be a few minutes late. George Stephenson and IKB are probably rotating in their graves.

 

My train arrives and isn’t too packed, so no traingate scandal for me. As I walk down the carriage I find a seat in a cluster of 4, where 3 commuters have set up residence. Oddly, it’s the window seat that is free as commuter 1 has elected for an aisle seat. I break the first rule of commuting; thou shalt not invade personal space. We smile at each other yet I still have to ask to sit down. At £79, you can bet i’m going to sit down; I owe that at least to the taxpayer. He obliges, grudgingly, and moves the several sheets of A4 (and himself) to allow me in.

Now I am not small; in fact i’m quite the opposite. Add a Navy Peacoat and bulging laptop bag and you get somewhere near the picture.

Commuters 2 and 3 stare at me with incredulity. I smile back and continue my descent into my seat. I should have taken my coat off first, but the moment has passed; Commuter 1 has resettled. 2 and 3 have gone back to his mobile device and her window staring respectively.

I’m still all elbows, having to turn my laptop bag on it’s side to take my Kindle out.

Now the bag won’t fit between my legs and the table, and won’t go on the floor. I put it beside/behind me, but this forces me into a kind of ‘I have a secret to tell you’ position with 1.

I look up, and realise that a quarter rise will probably be enough to place this carbuncle in the luggage rack.

Success.

train 3

 

Normal service is quickly resumed and 1,2,3 and 4 (me) engross in our collective solipsism. Then it happens – my foot accidentally touches that of 3 under the table. She has skillfully placed her continental sized handbag on the table between us and this has done its job, but she neglected to protect her foot space. There is an audible dual shuffling of feet and we successfully ignore each other. Until it happens again.

Good Lord; in terms of Britishness this is like some mismatched date where well-meaning parents mastermind an attempt to pair their offspring.

She plays with her hair but staring out of the window I take this as extreme discomfort. The book that i’m reading is now the most interesting thing I’ve ever read.

⇔⇔

A slow stroll amongst the morning rush gives plenty of opportunity to people watch. This lifestyle has zero appeal but creating backstories for strangers amuses me no end. The sun’s ineffectiveness does nothing to lessen the beauty of the day, even amongst the volumes of traffic. Day 2 of fasting and it feels pretty easy, even when I order my lunch.

coffee

Fast food chains insist on American vernacular but I don’t. I ask them if I can ‘have’ a ‘medium’ Chai Latte please. He turns to his colleague and shouts “CAN I GET A MEDIO CHAI LATTE…!”

 

I sit down in the meeting room alone, with 15 minutes to spare and as I check the agenda, I see that the meeting starts at 11, not 10.

Awesome.

BSD