BSD – Page 7 – broke-single-dad

November 14, 2017

On the drive home; and there’s been a case of Head Licence.

“Dad; there’s been a case of head licence at school”

Eh? a case of what?

“Head licence”

I think you mean head lice dear. A licence is…well, it doesn’t matter now.

“One of the boys has them. He was working at his desk and one jumped out onto his book”

Are you sure darling? that’s quite unusual. Did you see it happen?

“No, but one of my friends did and she’s been a good source of information in the past”

I think you listen to daddy talk too closely. Anyway, head lice are quite common and pretty easy to pass from person to person. They only like clean hair.

“I should probably stop washing mine then”

“I think the cold kills them so we should be ok now.”

That’s good to know

“I’m not sure how they feel about spring though”

Who??

“The head licence; the cold kills them. It’s pretty cold in Spring still isn’t it?”

Lice. Cold? Who told you that anyway? Was this your friend again?

“No; this was a teacher.”

Well….?!!?…..Ok.

Armistice

“Dad; they’ve taken down all those poppies that we saw on the lamppost yesterday”

They were up for Remembrance Sunday / Armistice day where we pay tribute to those who lost their lives during conflicts and wars.

“How many people died?”

Quite a …..

“And before you say ‘a lot’ can you give me a number please. I need that level of detail”

Jesus.

Well i’m not sure but it was in the 10’s of millions. You’d think that with all that loss of life, humanity would lear……

“PADDINGTON IS ON AT THE CINEMA!!”

I guess she is only 7.

Good habits

“Dad”

Yes darling?

“I really don’t like coming home in the dark; can you work a bit less?”

I’d love to, but life is a balancing act at the moment. No work no pay.

“There isn’t a lot of time to do anything by the time we get home”

You could do your homework? there’s always time for that.

“………………………………………..why would you even say that…?”

“Dad”

(Christ) Yes?

“Have you had grapes with cheese before? they’re fantastic! you really should try it!”

Yeah I do darling; quite often.

“Oh ok. Do you like them”

Yes. Adults will often have them with a glass of red wine.

“Really?”

Yes

“So can I have some in my packed lunch tomorrow?”

What; cheese and grapes?

“Yes”

Yes of course

“And you’d better put the wine in my water bottle or the teachers might want some”

This conversation was approximately 5 minutes of a 45 minute journey.

BSD

November 11, 2017

Learning the language; a Saturday short..

We’re all in the kitchen; its breakfast and I’m making the porridge.

She’s knuckles deep in the mixed nuts, separating the almonds and he’s milling about, generally under my feet.

I don’t usually like them being in the kitchen when I’m cooking but they’ve gravitated back; I haven’t seen them for a while so I allow it.

He is learning to read and is able recognise certain letters, especially those in his name. His current phase is to mistake any word that begins with the first letter of his name for his name. It’s an interesting premise.

He points to the washing machine:

“That’s my name!”

No darling; it’s not.

“Yes it is!”

Well no, it’s not, because…..

“IT IS!”

He’s becoming upset.

Darling; you’re name isn’t Mixed Load.

“That’s not my name!?”

He sounded quite indignant.

BSD

November 8, 2017

Heart truly touched!

02:09 this morning, I was woken up by the sound of singing.

I lifted my head off of the pillow to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Yep. Definitely singing.

My initial, waking thought was one of terror, until remembered that the cubs were here and they had decided to share a bed that evening.

The feeling quickly turned to one of a protective dad, but as my confusion cleared, that clarity reassured me that it was my daughter’s voice.

All sounded ok; I lay my head down.

The next morning, I roused them with the usual rendition of ‘Good morning; good morning! You’ve slept the whole night through…’ and a barrage of kisses.

As they both came around, I asked if one of them had been singing last night.

“Yeah that was me..” said my daughter. She pointed at her brother.

“He couldn’t sleep and asked me to sing him a lullaby. I couldn’t remember one so I hummed to him instead until he went to sleep.”

I’m still sighing now, 13 hours later.

BSD

October 28, 2017

YAY! POO!

Moreover, perpetually smelling it.

As any parent of young cubs will know, poo plays quite a prominent role in your day.

Nappy changes, potty training and generally forgetting that toilets need flushing are all part of the jolly tapestry of the reward that is parenting.

Understand this; I’m a clean freak. My home is tidy for the majority of the time and I’m no fan of this ‘lived in’ philosophy. I prefer the showhome standpoint. My two beg to differ and occasionally, I’m happy to compromise.

The Saturday routine I had as a kid was that we would all chip in and help clean the house; this has extended into my adulthood.

Today was no different and the cubs are doing their rooms. Well my son isn’t but he’s only 3.

They were upstairs as I cleaned the kitchen. Occasionally I’d pop up, if only to restore some civil order where my son had wondered in to my daughter’s room and refused to leave.

As I neared, I was met by a poo haze, and my youngest in his favoured ‘mid poo’ squat.

Come on big man; time for a bum change.

‘Not finished yet!’ Was his customary reply and this time was no different. I waited.

His sister’s room was full of the most interesting funk so I opened the windows.

Eventually, he followed me. Before we went through the process I opened the windows. I do like open windows and whatever the weather, this is my first job on waking. A home benefits from a good blow through.

‘It’s a sloppy one daddy!’

I appreciated the warning, and the fact that his vocabulary is coming along so well.

Change done. No drama. He ran back to his sister’s room.

It smelt of poo, despite the windows being open. Hmmm.

I went downstairs with the offending package bagged up.

Downstairs smelt of poo.

I couldn’t understand it. Windows were open but it lingered.

I put the bag in the outside bin;

Outside smelt of poo.

By the time I came back in, both cubs were downstairs and hunting for snacks. My daughter looked at me, and screamed.

Well actually, it was more of a scream/laugh thing, accompanied by her pointing.

DAD! THERE’S POO ON YOUR NOSE!!

That explained it.

BSD.

October 24, 2017

Half term

‘Calamity Jane has anger issues’

According to my eldest cub.

‘She nearly shot someone in the cheek!’

I couldn’t disagree.

It had always been a favourite film of mine having had it forced upon me as a child by my parents. As such, when she came home singing about The Deadwood Stage, I gladly joined in.

She was surprised and happy, so all three of us had a singsong comprising of the words that we could remember.

We were even more surprised to find that in packing their bag for the week, their mum had included a DVD of the movie, still in the wrapper. On it went.

It had been a pretty uneventful day thus far and I was feeling sluggish as a result of an 05:45 start courtesy of my youngest.

During the week of half term, I had planned to alternate a day at home and a day out somewhere just to keep things balanced. A mix up earlier this month by the authorities had left me with bingo cash for the remainder of the month. I’d known things were going to be tight so I’d planned some cheap and cheerful activities to fill out time.

First things first, we indulged in a bit of housekeeping. During home day yesterday, the youngest cub decided to investigate and distribute a pack of loom bands around his sister’s room.

I don’t recall how much I paid for the pack of loom bands, but there seem to be roughly 4.5 million on the floor so I guess I got good value for money.

Luckily, she had the great idea of using the vacuum cleaner, once the cylinder was emptied so it actually became a non-issue.

Out of all the plans I’d had in my head today, we opted for the park in our old village. It’s a firm favourite and never disappoints.

The eldest clambered aboard her favourite apparatus; the death slide. The youngest watched as she whizzed past, whooping with joy.

He wanted some of the action.

They decided to both get on.

Initially, they asked me for help; but as I’m keen for them to develop independence, I told them to figure it out. I find that the rewards that come with hard work are so much sweeter and I hope to evolve that in them too.

Success

Both on, they had their first slide. Judging by the screams, it was everything they’d hoped for.

They sprinted back to the launch for round two. Their arrangement looked a little precarious but not wanting to be a helicopter parent, I stood back. The ground was covered in lovely, soft wood chips and pine so they wouldn’t come to harm even if they did have a spill.

Then, as with most human endeavour, confidence outweighed competence. Hands were coming off the slide in motion to wave in joy.

As they hit the stop, the halted motion whilst dampened, was enough to eject both passengers inverted.

She landed across her shoulders and neck; he, on top of her, landing on his face. Cue tears.

And mild concussion.

They’re fine.

I do not own the image above.

BSD

October 16, 2017October 15, 2017

Gingerbread men; all over again.

With the memory of our last escapade behind her, my daughter and I have ventured into the kitchen again. She’s been asking since Thursday if we can bake together; a request I couldn’t refuse. We opted for gingerbread men.

It was gorgeous today. The colloquial term is an Indian Summer, meaning that we had unseasonably warm temperatures so I took us all off to the play-park where we used to live.

It elicits mixed emotions but good ones on the whole. The village itself is bucolic perfection and the play-park is in keeping. It was full of young families who had a similar thought process to me.

On the way home we stopped off at the supermarket to pick up a few items for the bake. Then back to the corner shop for some that I’d forgotten. I really should make lists again.

Back home, the Kindle HD was fired up and ‘Gingerbread’ tapped into the search engine. Good old BBC Food came up first, so they got the honour.

My son was happy on a chair in the kitchen watching the proceedings, no doubt eagerly awaiting the end result.

Regulars (I have regulars!) will remember me saying that I needed to buy some extra bits in order to bake successfully a while back. Well I still need to buy them.

There was more than a little ‘At mum’s house we have that…’ which I duly ignored. Golden Syrup was subbed with honey and the imaginary scales that I was certain I had failed to materialise, so much was done by sight.

At this point, I realised that things weren’t going well but we pressed on…

I quickly learnt that flour doesn’t stick to a pint glass and a pint glass is a poor substitute for a rolling pin. No matter; onwards.

The cookie cutters became moulds, as this hateful mess refused to go anywhere I wanted in it’s entirety. The cubs were pretty happy though as they got the job of cleaning the utensils and mixing bowl.

In the oven they went.

Out the oven they came.

Yes. I even added some chocolate chunks for buttons and eyes, or a groin and shin judging by the previous photo. Now was the hard bit; sit and wait for 10 minutes before decorating…

Before we go any further, I realise that the cutters are cutters and not moulds but the viscosity of the mixture was such that I was on to a loser. Into the oven they went.

With the cubs waiting with baited breath, I made my move to seperate man from mould.

They crumbled and so did she. Cue tears.

15 minutes later I had managed to rouse a do-or-die spirit within her and back she came to decorate. Her brother and her sharing the stool and eating more than they decorated but hey; that’s the point isn’t it.

I really need to go shopping.

BSD

October 14, 2017

Parent life

06:45, weekday morning:

Minimal signs of life
Dissent
Progress only visible via time-lapse camera.

06:33, weekend morning:

Both awake
Standing over sleeping daddy
Prodding face
Tiny fingers prising adult eyes open.

I’m knackered.

BSD

October 12, 2017

Honesty

Always the best policy.

I picked the cubs up after to work today. The order was reversed as I was in the north of the county so daughter was first, followed by son.

I walked into after-school club and she was sitting alone on a sofa. This is quite unusual for her as she is normal a social being and would normally be in the midst of her friends.

She turned and saw me; and immediately I could tell, all was not right. She moved to the middle of the seat, hugged me and burst into tears.

Through the sobs

Her school has a reward system called ‘Golden Time’, which is awarded to children for good behaviour. They collect tokens throughout the day which gives them time back to do something they like. If they’re well behaved throughout the whole term, they get a certificate. Since starting school 3 years ago, she’s never missed one. She parades them like a badge of honour.

Today, she had lost her entitlement to Golden Time.

A minor idescretion had led to it; she was inconsolable.

Rebuilding

We hugged; a lot. Then we talked.

We discussed mistakes and how important it is to make them. We then talked about the importance of learning from them so that we could avoid them in the future.

I also told her that I make mistakes quite often. That seemed to do the trick.

The assistants at the club were concerned that something had happened whilst she was under their care as she had been ok up until the moment I arrived.

She’d been holding on to these feelings for most of the day before they finally exploded into full blown tears.

Thinking

I was reassured that despite all the inner turmoil she’d put herself through before I arrived, she’d confided in me completely as soon as she saw me.

This level of trust is critical; I need her to come to me regardless. Communication and compassion above all else.

BSD

October 7, 2017

When you’re going through hell…

Keep going.

Winston Churchill

This time last week

Last week I let you in on the peripheries of some tough times I was facing. I purposely didn’t go into detail but there was enough vague information to give you the general idea. I was under it.

At times like that it’s hard to imagine a way out. It’s hard to imagine things will ever be good again and it’s hard to see positives.

Somehow, I managed to keep my head. I made a conscious effort not to succumb to any ‘all is lost‘ feelings but rather to believe that things will work out for the best. I quite literally, relaxed and essentially did nothing. It was the hardest thing I [haven’t] done in my life.

How

I did other things. I forced myself to feel positive; I prayed a little more, specifically for an answer, although at the time I didn’t know what that answer was. I asked the Universe for an answer again, not knowing what that answer was. I wonder how many of you I just lost…

I also sang this quite a bit..

There will be an answer;let it be.

This time this week

All has changed.

Actually, they had changed by the middle of the week. Out of the blue and with no prompting from me, I received an official letter that changed everything. It proved to be the catalyst that kicked off a chain of events that will change everything.

It also increased my positivity and my positive outlook, which again gained momentum to help me see more ways to tackle my issues.

It’s the best feeling in the world.

And the moral of the story

Whatever you’re going through, have faith that you will come out the other end.

It doesn’t have to take belief in God or the Universe; just belief in yourself to find a way through your struggles.

Your answer will come.

Ps. Life will always throw poo at you; you just have to either dodge it or catch it and throw it back!

As we speak i’m writing this on my older, back-up laptop, as my (old) primary laptop is having an identity crisis, taking all my passwords and other stuff with it. I’ve asked the Universe for a new one..

BSD

October 4, 2017

Halloween is here…

This morning’s drive in;

‘Dad; my friend and I found a dead butterfly in the playground yesterday’

Did you? What type was it?

‘I don’t know, but we took a wing each and threw the body into the hedge…’

Lord help me.

BSD