Always the best policy.
I picked the cubs up after to work today. The order was reversed as I was in the north of the county so daughter was first, followed by son.
I walked into after-school club and she was sitting alone on a sofa. This is quite unusual for her as she is normal a social being and would normally be in the midst of her friends.
She turned and saw me; and immediately I could tell, all was not right. She moved to the middle of the seat, hugged me and burst into tears.
Through the sobs
Her school has a reward system called ‘Golden Time’, which is awarded to children for good behaviour. They collect tokens throughout the day which gives them time back to do something they like. If they’re well behaved throughout the whole term, they get a certificate. Since starting school 3 years ago, she’s never missed one. She parades them like a badge of honour.
Today, she had lost her entitlement to Golden Time.
A minor idescretion had led to it; she was inconsolable.
We hugged; a lot. Then we talked.
We discussed mistakes and how important it is to make them. We then talked about the importance of learning from them so that we could avoid them in the future.
I also told her that I make mistakes quite often. That seemed to do the trick.
The assistants at the club were concerned that something had happened whilst she was under their care as she had been ok up until the moment I arrived.
She’d been holding on to these feelings for most of the day before they finally exploded into full blown tears.
I was reassured that despite all the inner turmoil she’d put herself through before I arrived, she’d confided in me completely as soon as she saw me.
This level of trust is critical; I need her to come to me regardless. Communication and compassion above all else.