“Dad; there’s been a case of head licence at school”
Eh? a case of what?
“Head licence”
I think you mean head lice dear. A licence is…well, it doesn’t matter now.
“One of the boys has them. He was working at his desk and one jumped out onto his book”
Are you sure darling? that’s quite unusual. Did you see it happen?
“No, but one of my friends did and she’s been a good source of information in the past”
I think you listen to daddy talk too closely. Anyway, head lice are quite common and pretty easy to pass from person to person. They only like clean hair.
“I should probably stop washing mine then”
NO
“I think the cold kills them so we should be ok now.”
That’s good to know
“I’m not sure how they feel about spring though”
Who??
“The head licence; the cold kills them. It’s pretty cold in Spring still isn’t it?”
Lice. Cold? Who told you that anyway? Was this your friend again?
“No; this was a teacher.”
Well….?!!?…..Ok.
Armistice
“Dad; they’ve taken down all those poppies that we saw on the lamppost yesterday”
They were up for Remembrance Sunday / Armistice day where we pay tribute to those who lost their lives during conflicts and wars.
“How many people died?”
Quite a …..
“And before you say ‘a lot’ can you give me a number please. I need that level of detail”
Jesus.
Well i’m not sure but it was in the 10’s of millions. You’d think that with all that loss of life, humanity would lear……
“PADDINGTON IS ON AT THE CINEMA!!”
I guess she is only 7.
Good habits
“Dad”
Yes darling?
“I really don’t like coming home in the dark; can you work a bit less?”
I’d love to, but life is a balancing act at the moment. No work no pay.
“There isn’t a lot of time to do anything by the time we get home”
You could do your homework? there’s always time for that.
“………………………………………..why would you even say that…?”
“Dad”
(Christ) Yes?
“Have you had grapes with cheese before? they’re fantastic! you really should try it!”
Yeah I do darling; quite often.
“Oh ok. Do you like them”
Yes. Adults will often have them with a glass of red wine.
“Really?”
Yes
“So can I have some in my packed lunch tomorrow?”
What; cheese and grapes?
“Yes”
Yes of course
“And you’d better put the wine in my water bottle or the teachers might want some”
This conversation was approximately 5 minutes of a 45 minute journey.
BSD
broke-single-dad 
I am so insanely grateful that I was NOT taking a drink as I read that last bit! Thank you for the laugh today and sharing the awesomeness that is your kid!
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I struggle to capture everything she says; its relentless!
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There are times I wish I walked around with a constantly running video camera to catch some of the crazy that comes out of my kids’ mouths.
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