I still have flu. It really sucks. This isn’t a moan-fest. It might just be a tender look into myself.
I think the biggest reason being ill and subsequently off work sucks so much is because it’s highlighted the emptiness of my nest.
I have the cubs from tomorrow and all over the weekend and I can’t wait. At the same time, I’m also willing myself to be better so I can make a decent job of looking after them. I’m aware this is wishful thinking. I’ve already silenced the man-flu-ers with a 6 pound weight loss in the last week.
I’m rambling.
The last week has been a GroundHoggy existence of sleeping and falling asleep, punctuated by scant eating.
Unseen elements
So this empty nest thing is the single parent conundrum. Do you get a place that is big enough for your family or something more compact and bijou?
I went for space. I have one of each and they’re getting to an age where they want their own space so it was a no brainer.
The flip side of having the bigger place is that as the non-main-caregiver (how 21st Century) is that for the majority of the time, you kick around it on your own.
I’ve noticed this more because I’m not at work.
The elephant
So the revelation is that the empty nest seems emptier
Hang on
I’ve literally just had a nap. I was rambling so I shut down for a bit. Hate this.
The elephant. cont.
Is that to be ill when one lives alone is, well, lonely.
I’ve spent a lot of time in bed lately just trying to shake things off and for the last week there’s been a pile of clean laundry on my bed.
It was folded and waiting for me to put it away but has since been fashioned into a pile, about the height of sleeping person to which I have been propping myself up of a nighttime.
I hadn’t thought much of it as I’d done it unconsciously over a few days. Plus, research says that sleeping with your head slightly elevated whilst suffering from flu is beneficial to breathing.
I think I miss the ‘Do you want anything?’ type questions and the fact that at some point, food would arrive.
I did a slow cooker thing that lasted 3 days but now I need to stand up and cook.
I’m not going to.
Let’s kill this
Well folks this is a ramble fest. Sorry.
The moral of the story is, being ill sucks when you’re single.
100% more optimism will be available in my next post.
BSD
broke-single-dad 
Yes, it sucks being sick when you are all alone. I remember several times when I was stuck in bed yet still needing to take care of myself when OC was away with his dad for the weekend. I’m not sure which is worse though, having to just take care of yourself or being sick and having to take care of a child under the age of 2. You cannot leave them to fend for themselves. They require tons of care. I only had to deal with that a couple of times, but it was miserable.
As for space, you do what you need for you. I, personally, demanded that we have enough room for each of the kids to have their own space (and would if it were just me and I could still afford it) because I remember how horrible it was to have to share with someone(s) that refused to be fair. That and I’m very much a “everyone needs their privacy” kind of person.
Get to feeling better! I’ve heard that the bug this year is especially nasty.
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In between the solipsism and naval gazing I was also quietly thankful that they weren’t here as your point resonates. When suck it up is the only choice then that’s what you do. I guess we gave up the right to wallow when we became parents didn’t we!
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No, we can still wallow. We just have to do it while still getting up and doing what needs done when we really, REALLY don’t want to.
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