OK. I’ve calmed down. The last couple of posts were a mixture of anger and frustration, but I’m better than that.
In order to lighten the mood, I’ve amalgamated the 3 posts that have been sitting in draft.
Whole lotta 👅 going on
The usual Friday bedtime routine consists of me explaining to the cubs that they can’t sleep in my bed. Sometimes I mean it. This time I did.
They have a workaround. First thing on Saturday morning, they jump into bed with me and we have a cuddle and watch a movie. This time, I even let them consume a bag of popcorn in my bed.
At a glance, I would say that their success rate for popcorn to mouth was roughly 50%. Give or take a 5% margin. Once the film finished I told them that I wanted all the uneaten bits cleaned up while I was in the shower.
Whilst brushing my teeth, I heard a commotion followed by silence. I resisted the urge to look.
When I did emerge, the bed was clean, the duvet turned down and they were nowhere to be seen. Nice work cubs.
That evening at bedtime, whilst reading Dig dig digging for the millionth time, I thanked them for tidying my bed.
“That’s ok dad; once we’d got the big bits we just licked the rest clean”
I sat silently, asking Jesus why he’d let something like that happen.
Getting my own back
Tonight’s routine was a little muted. They’re both under par so there was little resistance.
Tucking in the eldest, she remarked that she felt awful with the flu. Her temperature was elevated and she had a headache.
“Dad? How does flu spread?”
Well it’s a virus that is very clever once it gets in your system. It can hide, it can change, known as mutation and will act differently in different people.
“Yes but how does it get into your body?
This is where it gets really interesting; it’s so clever that it knows it prefers to be inside new people to survive so what it does is to make you cough and sneeze and it’s then carried in the thousands of water droplets that come out of us when we do. If you breathe those water droplets in the virus gets into you. It can also survive for 24 hours on hard surfaces like door handles. You’ll then come along and touch that door handle, then touch your face. The result is the same.
She silently takes it all in and begins to process it.
“So when we were in the car with you daddy, that’s when we got it?”
No. I kept licking your face while you slept.
” Dad; I think you need a new workout. I’ve made one for you”
Ok sounds good. What’ve you got?
“Well you start of with 25 star jumps..”
“Then you move onto 25 press ups..”
Sounds good. Anything else?
“You should touch your toes 3 times..”
Sounds like a spell now but go on..
“Then finish with a small run; say 13 miles”