Tag: love

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Half term

‘Calamity Jane has anger issues’

According to my eldest cub.

‘She nearly shot someone in the cheek!’

I couldn’t disagree.

It had always been a favourite film of mine having had it forced upon me as a child by my parents. As such, when she came home singing about The Deadwood Stage, I gladly joined in.

She was surprised and happy, so all three of us had a singsong comprising of the words that we could remember.

We were even more surprised to find that in packing their bag for the week, their mum had included a DVD of the movie, still in the wrapper. On it went.

It had been a pretty uneventful day thus far and I was feeling sluggish as a result of an 05:45 start courtesy of my youngest.

During the week of half term, I had planned to alternate a day at home and a day out somewhere just to keep things balanced. A mix up earlier this month by the authorities had left me with bingo cash for the remainder of the month. I’d known things were going to be tight so I’d planned some cheap and cheerful activities to fill out time.

First things first, we indulged in a bit of housekeeping. During home day yesterday, the youngest cub decided to investigate and distribute a pack of loom bands around his sister’s room.

I don’t recall how much I paid for the pack of loom bands, but there seem to be roughly 4.5 million on the floor so I guess I got good value for money. 

Luckily, she had the great idea of using the vacuum cleaner, once the cylinder was emptied so it actually became a non-issue.

zipline.jpg

Out of all the plans I’d had in my head today, we opted for the park in our old village. It’s a firm favourite and never disappoints.

The eldest clambered aboard her favourite apparatus; the death slide. The youngest watched as she whizzed past, whooping with joy.

He wanted some of the action. 

They decided to both get on.

Initially, they asked me for help; but as I’m keen for  them to develop independence, I told them to figure it out.  I find that the rewards that come with hard work are so much sweeter and I hope to evolve that in them too.

Success

Both on, they had their first slide. Judging by the screams, it was everything they’d hoped for.

They sprinted back to the launch for round two. Their arrangement looked a little precarious but not wanting to be a helicopter parent, I stood back. The ground was covered in lovely, soft wood chips and pine so they wouldn’t come to harm even if they did have a spill.

Then, as with most human endeavour, confidence outweighed competence. Hands were coming off the slide in motion to wave in joy.

As they hit the stop, the halted motion whilst dampened, was enough to eject both passengers inverted.

She landed across her shoulders and neck; he, on top of her, landing on his face. Cue tears.

And mild concussion.

They’re fine.

calamity

I do not own the image above.

BSD

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Short one; buttons pushed. 

It’s half term; the cubs are with me.

“Daddy; your room is bigger than mine”

Well I’m here all the time; you two are only here sometimes.

“Your bed is quite big though, but I think mummy gets annoyed with you when you snore in her face”

Yes well luckily mummy doesn’t have to put up with that anymore.


Not sure why that annoyed me so much….

BSD

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Not in the mood…

I picked my youngest cub up from nursery and asked the usual question; how was your day?


The gentle snores told me he wasn’t in the mood for talking. 

BSD

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Parent life

06:45, weekday morning:

  • Minimal signs of life
  • Dissent
  • Progress only visible via time-lapse camera. 

06:33, weekend morning:

  • Both awake
  • Standing over sleeping daddy
  • Prodding face
  • Tiny fingers prising adult eyes open. 

I’m knackered. 


BSD

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Honesty 

Always the best policy. 

I picked the cubs up after to work today. The order was reversed as I was in the north of the county so daughter was first, followed by son. 

I walked into after-school club and she was sitting alone on a sofa. This is quite unusual for her as she is normal a social being and would normally be in the midst of her friends. 

She turned and saw me; and immediately I could tell, all was not right. She moved to the middle of the seat, hugged me and burst into tears. 

Through the sobs

Her school has a reward system called ‘Golden Time’, which is awarded to children for good behaviour. They collect tokens throughout the day which gives them time back to do something they like. If they’re well behaved throughout the whole term, they get a certificate. Since starting school 3 years ago, she’s never missed one. She parades them like a badge of honour. 

Today, she had lost her entitlement to Golden Time. 

A minor idescretion had led to it; she was inconsolable. 

Rebuilding 

We hugged; a lot. Then we talked.  

We discussed mistakes and how important it is to make them. We then talked about the importance of learning from them so that we could avoid them in the future. 

I also told her that I make mistakes quite often. That seemed to do the trick. 

The assistants at the club were concerned that something had happened whilst she was under their care as she had been ok up until the moment I arrived. 

She’d been holding on to these feelings for most of the day before they finally exploded into full blown tears.

 

Thinking

I was reassured that despite all the inner turmoil she’d put herself through before I arrived, she’d confided in me completely as soon as she saw me. 

This level of trust is critical; I need her to come to me regardless. Communication and compassion above all else. 

BSD 

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Halloween is here…

This morning’s drive in;

‘Dad; my friend and I found a dead butterfly in the playground yesterday’

Did you? What type was it?

‘I don’t know, but we took a wing each and threw the body into the hedge…’

Lord help me. 

BSD

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We will get to the truth…

So what was your favourite part of the school day?

‘After school club’

Ok (trying to get to a favourite subject) What about during the day? What was your favourite part of the day?

‘Lunch’

Gives up. 

Also on the way home

Boris Johnson on the radio from the Conservative conference; 

“COME ON PEOPLE! ITS TIME TO BE BOLD!”

‘BOLD!? But Dad; I like my frizzy hair!’

BSD

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Shifting paradigms 

Apology

If you know what a paradigm is; it’s a great word and I like using it. It’s appropriate today. This weekend has been pretty tough and I’m chalking it down to a co-parenting fail.

We seem to be in a push/pull groundhog day where I feel that I’m losing out. Official decisions, external influences etc. have log jammed into a head fug that gives the feeling of skiing uphill.

Settled situations appear on a horizon that can’t be reached but yet, I’m still optimistic.

I still, have so much to be grateful for:

  • The cubs – love eternal
  • A roof over my head – warm; dry; safe
  • Food in my cupboards – work in progress…
  • The ability to earn more – thanks to my health and determination.

Rubens defeat.jpg

Reality

I don’t care who you are; we are all fighting an unseen battle. There are so many cliches out there such as ‘Walk a mile…’ ‘The night is darkest before the dawn…’ ‘Every winter has it’s spring..’ (I actually quite like winter) and they all ring true.

Change your mind and change your situation. Another cliche and I recognise that this doesn’t work if you are clinically depressed; that’s a special situation that can benefit from professional intervention but for anyone else, shift your paradigm.

How

  • Get a good night’s sleep – no problem was ever solved by worrying
  • Eat well – fuel yourself for what you face; ditch the junk
  • Exercise – if you have your health you have everything
  • Break it down – your issues; biggest and most important first. If they’re stacked up it will seem like you’re in the foothills of Mt Everest. If you’re not sure which is the biggest issue, figure which one will cause the most harm if you don’t tackle it
  • Create milestones – and celebrate small victories
  • Give yourself a break – no-one can keep going all the time
  • Win/win or no deal – back to the 7 Habits; there doesn’t have to be a loser

Whatever you do and whatever you’re going through: DO NOT GIVE UP.

“Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.” – Bruce Lee

BSD

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More serious questions 

This morning’s drive in turned plenty deep plenty quickly.

“Dad; would a hurricane blow the hair off someone with Cancer?”

Whoa

After skillfully not crashing; I ponder a suitable response. I’d have preferred a ‘Where do babies come from’ as I have a script for that one but this was left field.

‘Those two things are quite unrelated darling; how did you put them together?’

Silence..

“Well; I’d noticed that when people get Cancer they lose their hair. I suspect that Cancer makes it loose so if you’re in a hurricane, those strong winds will only make matters worse.”

I can see her logic and decide to tackle the big one first.

‘Ok; it’s not the Cancer that causes sufferers to lose their hair, its the treatment. It can be quite aggressive’

Having lost my mother to the big C, I know enough about the topic to feed her facts. Preempting her next enquiry, I continue.

‘Cancer happens in the body at a cellular, microscopic, level. Every part of us is made up of cells. Technically we are constantly regenerating ourselves but slightly older than the version before..”With Cancer, somehow the message to create a new cell gets messed up and misunderstood, so the new cell isn’t quite as it should be. If there are enough of these not-so-right cells, they can attack the good cells. That can be really bad’

She looks creeped out.

‘It’s a gradual process; we call it mutating‘

Less creeped and now showing the look of ‘I’m gonna tell folk this in the playground’.

“So is a cell small? what’s the smallest living thing?”

Now I’m wading out into deep waters…

‘I think it’s a single celled, protozoa but I’m not sure; I’ll check this evening’

It’s been a while since Biology class.

“I think it’s a woodlouse”

The hurricane went unmentioned.

collapse

BSD

 

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On the drive in..

“Dad? What makes us different from animals?”

Not your everyday question, but the kind of thing I expect from my daughter on the drive in to school.

Well, it tends to be our ability to express a range of emotions such as compassion grief love et cetera. That and the fact that we can display intelligence. 

“Not like Donald Trump then?”

One high-five later, daddy 🙂

BSD