CONTROLLING THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS – time to stop running and start hunting. pt.2

What is coaching?

Coaching is a way of improving your ability or performance. We tend to associate coaching with athletes but more and more we see it in the world of work and even daily life.

What does coaching look like?

It quite often happens on a one to one ratio (the most effective way) with the coach and the student. The coach will observe a specific act, performance or behaviour, analyse and then tweak that performance through a number of means in order for the individual to improve in some way.

Why are you discussing coaching? A moment ago we were talking about limiting beliefs?

The two are connected.

So what is the connection?

  • Imagine if you had a coach.
  • One who followed you around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
  • A coach that never takes a holiday, rarely sleeps and better still, works for free.
  • A coach that knows you better than anyone else on Earth; knows your strengths and more importantly, your weaknesses.
  • A coach that really, doesn’t care if they upset you or even reduce you to tears.

I think you know where i’m going with this one.

So ok. We have a coach inside our head who sometimes works against us. Sometimes, it thinks it’s being cruel to be kind. Most of the times, it’s not a very smart coach. Always, absolutely always, it’s an effective coach.

Limiting beliefs>internal thoughts>inner coach..

Thoughts become things

I’d love to claim this one but it’s been around for a while. The power of the mind to create the physical environment has long been recognised and quick search of the internet will show you examples.

Have you ever wondered why a day that starts badly often ends badly and vice versa? Let’s be honest; a day is just a day. We will leave a footprint on that point in time and give it a title, in order to categorise it in our memories.

‘Good’ days have a positive effect on us and therefore anything that happens during that good day will be thought of positively. Again, vice versa, things that happen on a ‘bad’ day will be reflected on badly.

But as I said earlier, a day is just a day. We make it what it is and our internal coach has a huge part to play in that.

Success

I apologise for this cheesiness of this pic but, you get it; right?

Part 3 next week, where I do what I say I’ll do.

I’ve also tried something new; sticking this post to the front page. Let’s see how that works.

BSD

What I was supposed to do today..

Versus what I actually did, are two different things.

I was supposed to go [Kung Fu] training today but as you can probably guess from the headline, I didn’t make it.

The weather is great so I decided that it was an opportunity to get my motorbike out.

What I was supposed to do in June…

Was to MOT my bike. For those not in the know, an MOT is a legal requirement on British roads, giving you an annual declaration of roadworthiness. The cops prefer you to have one too.

What I actually did today…

Was rest, following a very brief sulk.

The cubs are with their mum (technically my weekend but there were family celebrations on her side so we made a deal) and the house is tidy.

I also took the opportunity to connect with all of my new followers, thanks to the amazing Daily Post first friday! what a great idea and I’m so glad I took the opportunity to engage.

Hints and tips are coming in already and I will definitely be rummaging through all of your pages for a good read and some ideas!

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Not today kung fu kingdom; not today.

BSD

Plan B it is

via Daily Prompt: Jangle

I love the jangle of the bike keys when I take them out of the cupboard.

So here’s the deal;

  • Sunshine? check
  • No kids? check
  • Bike gear? check
  • Training gear? check
  • Certificate of roadworthiness? silence
  • Dammit.

Turns out that the jangle when you put them back is exactly the same.

BSD

 

Things I’m thankful for…

I’m thankful for making it to day 2 of my fitness challenge; work in progress!

I’m thankful for my son, who cried to get into my bed and once I acquiesced, told me he didn’t like the fan and went back to his bed, leaving me wide awake.

I’m thankful for my daughter, who despite being only 7 managed to occupy territory (in my bed) roughly the equivalent of Luxembourg.

I’m thankful for my son, who after his usual bath and bedtime routine dropped a poo bomb that saw us repeating the whole process.

I’m thankful to my daughter, who woke up 20 minutes after I got to bed to get me to choose my favourite character from Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew” (children’s edition) whilst covering my bald head in stickers. I love my life and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Ps; I’m growing things on my window sill now. Lettuce and mint. The idea was to eat more healthily…

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The mint has gone in gin.

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BSD

This happened a while ago…

No kids today but i’m up early and off to the city for a meeting. This gives me a rare opportunity to ditch the uniform and dress like a proper grown up.

 

These meetings occur once a quarter and I usually drive, but on this occasion I have opted to take the train, joining the early morning masses. Even after shaving my head, filtering water (in child’s plastic bottle, having discarded my own metal one) i’m out of the door in plenty of time. I even find a parking space at the railway station. I can’t see what the fuss is about so far.

I buy a return ticket. The taxpayer is now £79 worse off. I wonder if the teller had accidently included the previous traveller’s ticket in my price but say nothing.

train station

 

Walking to my train I pass a sign informing passengers that due to the change of seasons and the potential for leaves on the line, some services may be a few minutes late. George Stephenson and IKB are probably rotating in their graves.

 

My train arrives and isn’t too packed, so no traingate scandal for me. As I walk down the carriage I find a seat in a cluster of 4, where 3 commuters have set up residence. Oddly, it’s the window seat that is free as commuter 1 has elected for an aisle seat. I break the first rule of commuting; thou shalt not invade personal space. We smile at each other yet I still have to ask to sit down. At £79, you can bet i’m going to sit down; I owe that at least to the taxpayer. He obliges, grudgingly, and moves the several sheets of A4 (and himself) to allow me in.

Now I am not small; in fact i’m quite the opposite. Add a Navy Peacoat and bulging laptop bag and you get somewhere near the picture.

Commuters 2 and 3 stare at me with incredulity. I smile back and continue my descent into my seat. I should have taken my coat off first, but the moment has passed; Commuter 1 has resettled. 2 and 3 have gone back to his mobile device and her window staring respectively.

I’m still all elbows, having to turn my laptop bag on it’s side to take my Kindle out.

Now the bag won’t fit between my legs and the table, and won’t go on the floor. I put it beside/behind me, but this forces me into a kind of ‘I have a secret to tell you’ position with 1.

I look up, and realise that a quarter rise will probably be enough to place this carbuncle in the luggage rack.

Success.

train 3

 

Normal service is quickly resumed and 1,2,3 and 4 (me) engross in our collective solipsism. Then it happens – my foot accidentally touches that of 3 under the table. She has skillfully placed her continental sized handbag on the table between us and this has done its job, but she neglected to protect her foot space. There is an audible dual shuffling of feet and we successfully ignore each other. Until it happens again.

Good Lord; in terms of Britishness this is like some mismatched date where well-meaning parents mastermind an attempt to pair their offspring.

She plays with her hair but staring out of the window I take this as extreme discomfort. The book that i’m reading is now the most interesting thing I’ve ever read.

⇔⇔

A slow stroll amongst the morning rush gives plenty of opportunity to people watch. This lifestyle has zero appeal but creating backstories for strangers amuses me no end. The sun’s ineffectiveness does nothing to lessen the beauty of the day, even amongst the volumes of traffic. Day 2 of fasting and it feels pretty easy, even when I order my lunch.

coffee

Fast food chains insist on American vernacular but I don’t. I ask them if I can ‘have’ a ‘medium’ Chai Latte please. He turns to his colleague and shouts “CAN I GET A MEDIO CHAI LATTE…!”

 

I sit down in the meeting room alone, with 15 minutes to spare and as I check the agenda, I see that the meeting starts at 11, not 10.

Awesome.

BSD

Cooking again

Intermittent fasting relies heavily on eating well and exercising.

I planned to fill the time when the kids aren’t here with the things I used to enjoy doing; running, gym, martial arts and cooking. My self-discipline needs a little work but it’s not far from where it should be.

Tonight, a pasta dish but this is for the carbs. 200 ml of whole milk to help ketosis, 3 rashers of streaky bacon, red, yellow and green peppers and salt and pepper to taste. It’s a bit of a celebration of the finding that we are healthier eating the right kind of fats, but i’m pretty sure if I don’t get exercising properly soon my Doc might disagree.

Pour the milk in the pan and add the pasta. The pasta that I failed to list in the ingredients above. Add some pepper. Bring the milk to the boil and then turn the heat down low.

Take a pair of scissors to the bacon and fry on a medium heat. Add some butter to the pan before hand. Add some butter to the list above too whilst you’re at it.

Finely slice the peppers and add them to the pan. Cook them until everything is…cooked.

Keep stirring the pasta. It will stick to the pan if you don’t.

  At some point, I will either eat or dispose of that gingerbread thing.

Pretty happy with the finished article; it tasted amazing.


I guess you could sprinkle it with something green and nutritious. Or cheese. It’s a bit anemic.

BSD


           

CONTROLLING THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS – time to stop running and start hunting.

Introduction

The human mind is still the most powerful, instantly available computer that we can use. It’s amazing; it’s that simple.

All day, every day, that computer makes billions of calculations and adjustments that keep us alive. We don’t even have to tell it to do that thankfully, otherwise sleeping would be a very brief experience.The problem is, we take it for granted! I mean; it’ll always be there, won’t it?

Accident victims and those suffering mental health issues will tell you differently. Just like any other piece of complex machinery, the human brain can fail.

Accident victims can get help; people suffering from mental health issues can get help, if they’re fortunate enough to get diagnosed correctly; but what if what ails you can’t be seen? Or worse still, you don’t even realise that it is happening to you?

Limiting beliefs

What is a limiting belief?

You’ve probably heard of the expression a ‘glass ceiling’, well think of limiting beliefs as a glass shroud. It’s above you, and sometimes around you. You’ve put it there to keep you safe. What it actually does, is keep you still.

Safe, and still, are two very different things.

Now this is where things get a little tricky – you’ve probably read the last statement and thought to yourself  “I haven’t put any limits on myself! Have I?” The problem is internal limits are seldom that clear.

A limiting belief can also be described as an ingrained thought or thoughts, deep within us that control what we do. In fact, it controls everything that we do. It shows itself in the form of a voice; the one inside your head that communicates with you, constantly.

Let me give you some examples of what that voice can say to you,

  • I can’t do that…

 

I’m never on time…

 

I’m so unlucky…

 

I’ll never get the hang of this…

 

I’m too old..

 

I don’t have time..

 

I wouldn’t know where to start..

 

Silly me…

I could go on, but hopefully you get the picture.

Those beliefs then are what mould our thoughts. Every moment of every day and in every aspect of our lives.

With the eight examples above you’ll notice that I never associated those comments with a specific topic. That’s because they can fit any or all topics (and areas of our lives) at any given time.

The thing about these thoughts is that they breed. They multiply like a virus and they will infect anywhere and everywhere you allow them to.

Limiting beliefs>internal thoughts….

So what’s the issue? Where is the harm in these having such thoughts because surely, everybody has them?

This is true; this inner voice is present in all of us, coaching us in our lifetime pursuits. What most of us fail to do however, is to make sure that that voice is working for us and not against us, especially when it can be difficult to know the difference.

Want more? On Tuesday I will explore how to control your inner thoughts with practical examples.

BSD

Wednesday’s thoughts

Following an [extremely convincing] internet scare story I now have a water filter complete with a year’s worth of cartridges. The idea is to reduce the intake of heavy metals for me and my kids. I’m not embarrassed. 

Listening to the shocking statistic that 1 in 2 of us will now develop cancer in our lifetime i’m taking no chances; after all, it did for my mother

There has to be something in our modern lifestyle behind it, as I can well remember when that stat was 1 in 3. Surely if we keep going at this rate, cancer will be an inevitability?
I skipped class tonight. It took a lot of willpower not to skip supper too. Intermittent fasting relies heavily on eating well and exercising. I planned to fill the time when the kids aren’t here with the things i used to enjoy doing; running, gym, martial arts and cooking. 

My self-discipline needs a little work but it’s not far from where it should be.