And I’ve won the week

Waking my son up this morning by waving his toy lightsaber (with sound effects) around, saying in a deep voice:

I AM DAD VADER; I AM YOUR FATHER!

whilst it made whooshing sounds.

Winning.

BSD

ps, he didn’t bat an eyelid.

pps, nor at the age of 4 did he have a clue what I was on about.

And, I’m stuck.

It’s been a busy year so far. I’ve taken a lot on and although it feels good, I’ve become stuck.

Two things have struck me recently;

Firstly, it’s nearly Christmas. I’ve got to prepare and this year has flown.

Secondly, in 15 years, I’ll be 60. This thought was bought on by a tweet about Angela Bassett (60) at an award ceremony.

That’s just the way my mind works.

The first 8 years of my eldest cub’s life have shot by which brings my mind to the passage of time, and how I could be wasting it.

Or at least not making ‘enough’ progress.

That voice is back.

‘Surely I should be there now, rather than where I actually am, here’

The internal coach. Eternal critic.

This time, I have an answer. Where I am now, is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

It’s easy to listen to this critic who will make you forget just how far you’ve come, both personally and professionally.

I’m learning two new skills. They’re big skills that can’t be rushed, but at the grand age of 45, I’m restless. Both skills have ground to a halt; one financially, one technically.

Again, the critic inside thinks I should be further forward.

That is, until I look back 12 months and see that then me, and now me, are strangers. If now me had told then me where I’d be now, it would appear a tale of pure fallacy.

So I take a breath and a break, and relax.

I’m writing this on a windy hilltop, enjoying the sunset. And smiling.

Push

Angela Bassett looked amazing, by the way.

BSD

3 years on; I’ve figured it out

Why single parents are so tired.

Questions!

They come thick and fast and at any time. Now I’m a great believer in educational opportunity so I aim to inform as much as possible.

When I’m tired though….

Questions asked

What I  should have said What I actually said
What’s your favourite colour Adults don’t tend to have favourite colours Blue
Who’s that? (TV weatherman) I’m not sure; his name will come up shortly Alan
Who’s your favourite Power Ranger I don’t really have a favourite, as I’m an adult Alan, the Purple one. You may not know him as he only fights crime on a Saturday
Where are they going (car driving the opposite way) I couldn’t possibly know that Primark
How fast can you run (after watching Usain Bolt) Fast humans can do about 20 mph Just a little slower than him
Where’s that sheep’s mum Not too far away Driving that tractor
Why’s Saturday It just is ?????
Why are those birds on the roof It’s a safe perch away from predators They’re keeping an eye on you
What keep the planet spinning Interactional forces of the magnetic poles Children eating their vegetables
Why can you see the moon during the day It’s a satellite of earth that orbits independently to our rotation It’s keeping an eye on you

I’ll set them straight before they do any exams.

BSD

Can’t Trump that..

Driving home from a classmate’s party, the news is on the car radio.

It’s the day of two big funerals in America; the music legend Aretha Franklin, and 2008 Republican Presidential Candidate Sen. John McCain. Both events caught the headlines here in the UK and my eldest listens with interest.

The newsreader comments on the links between both the recently deceased and the sitting president of the United States.

She knows who Aretha Franklin is, but asks me about Sen. McCain.

I enlighten her.

‘Was he a good person?’

Like most people darling, he did some good things and some bad things. He wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

‘I guess no one is good or bad all the time are they?’

Exactly.

She thinks

‘Has Donald Trump done something good dad?

We both think…

She turns to me.. ‘Does he brush his teeth? that’s a good thing isn’t it dad?’

I wouldn’t bet on it darling.

BSD

It’s no coincidence..

That sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

I’m on about one hour in the last 48.

Slight exaggeration, but the post on yesterday’s day out will have to wait…

Resilience

I see my hidden goal

As ensuring that my nurturing turns strong children turn into strong adults. I try to do this in the most subtle ways possible, taking every opportunity to reinforce subtle lessons with real life examples.

I don’t think I’m doing anything out of the ordinary, but I am conscious of who my cubs are, and how the world may view them as adults.

Inequalities

Over here we’ve finally had some solid data on pay differentials. Industry was compelled by the government to post pay grades, gender percentile and other qualitative data that basically, didn’t look good.

On average, women are paid less; people of colour are paid less. Not looking good.

On the plus side, my two are still in single digits age wise, and working a job isn’t what it used to be years ago. Nonetheless, I need to build my pack strong.

adult aged baby care
Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com

Her

My daughter is a brainbox. Recall, attention to detail, enquiring mind, tick tick tick. Her desire for knowledge never fails to amaze me. Remembering me promising her things could ease off a bit though…

Historically, I’ve made her make her own giant leaps; from climbing up onto a chair before she could walk to riding without stabilisers, watching her tears of frustration turn to tears of joy when she finally mastered it. Watching her realisation, that effort brings rewards.

Now, when asked ‘How did you know to do that?’ by anyone, her answer of ‘the idea was in my head’ renews my pride.

Him

He’s still only 3, so the transition out of nappies to peeing standing up ‘just like daddy’ was a great moment. All those uncomfortable, accompanied trips to the toilet served a purpose.

Goal

As parents, we ultimately do our best. We have our ideal of what we want them to be. The nature/nurture argument plays into things as does free will.

My goal is to give them both the tools to know their worth in the world; to know that the path to success is rarely straightforward and that their ultimate power, lies within.

How they use those tools will be down to them.

Shape your thinking; shape your world.

adult aged baby care
Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com

BSD

Male/female split

Nature has a way of sending subtle signs of who the cubs spend more time with.

Sunday morning in bed; the errant pair have joined me from their respective rooms.

She boots up my laptop and gets to work on a presentation of how we’re killing our planet.

He bimbles about, clasping his security blanket and foxy (the fox).

“Daddy, would you like my blanket?”

That’s very kind of you darling but I’m already under a duvet. Actually I was half out of it but covered nonetheless.

He precedes to lay it on me..

“I’ve covered your bangers for you…”

Maybe time to lay off the/ do more press ups.

BSD

Ante-climax

It’s a lovely sunny sunny day here and I’m keen to get outside.

First their rooms need to be tidied; they’re a mess. I manage to pry them out of the bath.

As I moisturise my son’s wrinkles away, I recall a find from last night.

Hey, as I went to draw the downstairs curtains, guess what walked past the window, along the road?

He paused in thought..

“Was it an antelope?”

That kind of took the sting out of my urban fox.

BSD

Easter Hols

And the cubs are off with Mum for the first half  of the holidays, then they’re back with me for the latter half.

She’s jam-packed activities for them which is great. I’m getting regular FaceTime updates.

A call comes in from the Jurassic coast; a great location and day out for budding adventurers.

“Daddy! Mummy got me this from the gift shop. It’s a mood ring!”

She thrusts her finger towards the screen.

“It says I’m despair but I’m not. I’m just tired”

Ok then.

tired out

BSD