parent – Page 6 – broke-single-dad

July 19, 2017July 19, 2017

Today served as a stark reminder

Time waits for no one.

Nothing I didn’t know and I’m sure you’re the same. Let me talk you through this one.

Sunday is the day that my ex and I plan childcare arrangements for the week ahead. We actually do this a month at a time, but Sunday is confirmation day. This week, it was also when we entered ‘Meet Year 3 teachers‘ for this afternoon at 16:30.

Head down in projects and deadlines I lifted it above the parapet at 16:10. No drama; the drive isn’t far and work is flexible enough for me to pick up the slack later.

Driving affords me the great opportunity to be alone with my thoughts

I’ve known where my priorities are ever since my first born came into the world. Parenthood had a profound affect on me, and where I had been a career driven promotion hungry chap before that day, my focus undoubtedly changed when I became a dad.

I got to the classroom one minute late (time means a lot to me) and squeezed my huge frame into those chairs that are perfect for little people. The two new teachers were at the front, presenting; the parents were scattered around the classroom on a combination of chairs and desks (If only I’d been a couple of minutes earlier..) and our respective children playing and reading quietly on the far side of the classroom.

Then, a no so subtle signal that I’d got my priorities right; my daughter looked up from what she was doing and spotted her daddy across the classroom. Without hesitation, she stood up, made her way through her soon to be teachers, through the parents (who were smiling, knowing where she was heading) made it over to my side and threw her arms around me. Decision qualified.

This is not the focal point of this entry. My point is this; it quite literally seems like yesterday that I walked her into school on her very first day. It all seemed so wrong! she was my baby! she’s way too young! she’s not used to these people or this place etc… She was still so small and vulnerable. I took a photograph of her in her new uniform and shiny shoes as she sat on a bench outside the classroom, waiting for her day to start.

That yesterday was actually 3 years ago.

Life does not hang about waiting for us to make the right decisions; we have to get up, get out and live. We make decisions without knowing if they’re life changing or not; those effects won’t show themselves until years later but, we have to do what we feel is right.

For me, the right decision is to put my cubs first. A missed deadline, an unanswered email or an embittered boss will pale into insignificance in 12 months but my daughter remembering that her daddy was at sports day, at the summer dance, at the nativity and at the teacher meet will last forever.

Choose wisely; you don’t get that time back.

BSD

July 18, 2017

Exercise in futility..

Albeit a gorgeous one

A spent a short while ironing my toddler son’s clothes for nursery this morning.

He looked very smart.

Seconds after I finished getting him dressed, he proceeded to lie on his belly at the top of the stairs and slide down all 14 steps (feet first).

I had to admire his technique; it was flawless.

BSD

July 17, 2017July 17, 2017

Still last weekend..

Sunday

It looks like my lazy day has turned into a lazy weekend. I’ve sat in bed; I’ve watched a couple of movies but I just had to get up.

The contents of the fridge are still there so I’ve decided to make something out what’s left. One pack of sausages, one bag of frozen veg, and some potatoes both sweet and normal. It looks like it’s going to be sausage and chips for Sunday lunch.

Time to cook these blues away.

Sunday afternoon

It looks like the cooking has come back with a vengeance, and what I thought was just going to be a boring meal turned into to something absolutely average.

For Sunday dinner it was a pretty lazy/easy cook with everything lobbed into a pan and left 45 minutes.

For some reason my phone has rotated this

I put some broccoli in for extra health, trying to wipe out the poor diet I have had over the last couple of days. Result was nice but then again I’ve always liked roasted sweet potato.

I shall call this ‘Hot Mess’. You should try it

You can tell I wasn’t convinced about this one as I took the pic after starting it. Mayonnaise is optional..

The shopping needs to get here soon though before I get scurvy.

Future goals:

Copy a fellow blogger’s recipies
Don’t ever upload from a mobile. Twice as long

BSD

July 17, 2017July 17, 2017

This weekend…

Well, technically last weekend.

Saturday
I’ve decided to give myself a lazy day today. I’m laying in bed watching movies.
We’ll see how long it lasts. I already feel uncomfortable and I’m finding things to do mentally. Never was very good at relaxing.

Still saturday, but a bit later
This is what being lazy looks like to me; Kitchen cleaned, downstairs loo cleaned, all rooms dusted, upstairs bathroom cleaned, ensuite cleaned, wash load done, dishwasher on. I’ve got a feeling that my cooking may suffer.

It did….

BSD

July 12, 2017

School run

It’s business as usual by the time I pick up my daughter.

My son is asleep within 5 minutes of me driving off. The day is warm so I don’t blame him.

She is full of energy and big hugs which is always something I look forward to. I ask her about her day.

My friend hypnotised me with a piece of bread and I’ve been practicing my kicks. I can kick to a child’s head!

Ok. I don’t want to know how she knows that, but as I received no phone calls during the day, I’m good.

BSD

July 11, 2017

Cooking, drinking and thinking…

Thankfully the sun is still shining when I get back to my car and in fact all day, it has been seasonal bliss.
Ingredients time! I intended to do a shop on the train home but I actually fell asleep! I have a habit of keeping late nights and early mornings and my body is starting to rebel.

On the way home I visualised salmon, salad onions and vegetable rice smothered in sesame seeds.

I read somewhere about the benefits of turmeric (I can’t remember exactly what it did) so I got some of that too. Add some paprika and pesto (thinking ahead) and we’re in business.

I must say I really do have the cooking bug now and it’s a lot of fun, and so much easier to eat healthily.
Salmon something

Wash a cupful of rice in [filtered] water. Place in a small pan and add more [filtered] water. I’ll stop with the parenthesis soon. Add a dash of sesame oil and a sprinkle of paprika. Place on a low heat.

Pre-heat the grill to a medium high heat and foil line a grill pan. Wash the salad onions and chop finely. Grab some garlic and chop that too. Drizzle some oil on the foil and add paprika and turmeric. Drop the chopped stuff on it and mix with your hands.

Wash and dry your hands and then realise that your ingredients will stain anything you touch.

Take the salmon and rub it in the chopped stuff; place it all under the grill.

This one is a pretty quick cooker, depending on how you like your salmon.

From coming in through the door to serving up in under an hour; not bad going.

Shame it didn’t taste so good. I think i’ll ditch one of the big spices next time.

Following dinner I spent a considerable part of the evening sitting in the lounge and being with my own thoughts. As the evening drew in I lay there, feet up and sipping wine, thinking.

Where I am right now is where I need to be right now, but it’s not where I will stay.

July 10, 2017July 10, 2017

How tough is this one? It shouldn’t be.

I’m going to let you in to a secret; this was one of the best moments in my life.

The birth of my daughter; the everyday miracle that happened to me (us). Following what was quite a difficult birth, our daughter was cleaned up and placed on the scales.

I looked at her and she looked back..

Her eyes looked deep and dark (most babies are actually born blue eyed!) she didn’t cry or make a sound. She just moved her fingers a little and stared at the voice she was already familiar with, welcoming her into the world.

I had talked and read to her in the womb. The benefits of a deep voice paying dividends.

She was perfect in every way; I was in tears.

I had the privilege of being the first person to change her nappy. She fit in the palm of my hand! I was fascinated by her perfection, especially those little toes!

That was the moment I discovered unconditional love.

On reflection, it’s a shame mum and I couldn’t find something similar.

Four years later, we were blessed again. This time with a son (more on his birth another time).

Two years later, I’m here writing this. Life isn’t perfect but it is good and I am grateful for everything I have.

I now have the most important mission ahead and I cannot fail

How I act, what I say, who I am will be my children’s blueprint for their future relationships.

The behaviour I display, will be the behaviour my daughter accepts and my son perpetuates. I have to get this right.

CONTROLLING THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS – time to stop running and start hunting. pt.2

What is coaching?

Coaching is a way of improving your ability or performance. We tend to associate coaching with athletes but more and more we see it in the world of work and even daily life.

What does coaching look like?

It quite often happens on a one to one ratio (the most effective way) with the coach and the student. The coach will observe a specific act, performance or behaviour, analyse and then tweak that performance through a number of means in order for the individual to improve in some way.

Why are you discussing coaching? A moment ago we were talking about limiting beliefs?

The two are connected.

So what is the connection?

Imagine if you had a coach.
One who followed you around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
A coach that never takes a holiday, rarely sleeps and better still, works for free.
A coach that knows you better than anyone else on Earth; knows your strengths and more importantly, your weaknesses.
A coach that really, doesn’t care if they upset you or even reduce you to tears.

I think you know where i’m going with this one.

So ok. We have a coach inside our head who sometimes works against us. Sometimes, it thinks it’s being cruel to be kind. Most of the times, it’s not a very smart coach. Always, absolutely always, it’s an effective coach.

Limiting beliefs>internal thoughts>inner coach..

Thoughts become things

I’d love to claim this one but it’s been around for a while. The power of the mind to create the physical environment has long been recognised and quick search of the internet will show you examples.

Have you ever wondered why a day that starts badly often ends badly and vice versa? Let’s be honest; a day is just a day. We will leave a footprint on that point in time and give it a title, in order to categorise it in our memories.

‘Good’ days have a positive effect on us and therefore anything that happens during that good day will be thought of positively. Again, vice versa, things that happen on a ‘bad’ day will be reflected on badly.

But as I said earlier, a day is just a day. We make it what it is and our internal coach has a huge part to play in that.

I apologise for this cheesiness of this pic but, you get it; right?

Part 3 next week, where I do what I say I’ll do.

I’ve also tried something new; sticking this post to the front page. Let’s see how that works.

BSD

July 7, 2017

Things I’m thankful for…

I’m thankful for making it to day 2 of my fitness challenge; work in progress!

I’m thankful for my son, who cried to get into my bed and once I acquiesced, told me he didn’t like the fan and went back to his bed, leaving me wide awake.

I’m thankful for my daughter, who despite being only 7 managed to occupy territory (in my bed) roughly the equivalent of Luxembourg.

I’m thankful for my son, who after his usual bath and bedtime routine dropped a poo bomb that saw us repeating the whole process.

I’m thankful to my daughter, who woke up 20 minutes after I got to bed to get me to choose my favourite character from Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew” (children’s edition) whilst covering my bald head in stickers. I love my life and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Ps; I’m growing things on my window sill now. Lettuce and mint. The idea was to eat more healthily…

The mint has gone in gin.

BSD

July 5, 2017July 5, 2017

Cooking again

Intermittent fasting relies heavily on eating well and exercising.

I planned to fill the time when the kids aren’t here with the things I used to enjoy doing; running, gym, martial arts and cooking. My self-discipline needs a little work but it’s not far from where it should be.

Tonight, a pasta dish but this is for the carbs. 200 ml of whole milk to help ketosis, 3 rashers of streaky bacon, red, yellow and green peppers and salt and pepper to taste. It’s a bit of a celebration of the finding that we are healthier eating the right kind of fats, but i’m pretty sure if I don’t get exercising properly soon my Doc might disagree.

Pour the milk in the pan and add the pasta. The pasta that I failed to list in the ingredients above. Add some pepper. Bring the milk to the boil and then turn the heat down low.

Take a pair of scissors to the bacon and fry on a medium heat. Add some butter to the pan before hand. Add some butter to the list above too whilst you’re at it.

Finely slice the peppers and add them to the pan. Cook them until everything is…cooked.

Keep stirring the pasta. It will stick to the pan if you don’t.

At some point, I will either eat or dispose of that gingerbread thing.

Pretty happy with the finished article; it tasted amazing.

I guess you could sprinkle it with something green and nutritious. Or cheese. It’s a bit anemic.

BSD