dad – Page 9 – broke-single-dad

November 11, 2017

Learning the language; a Saturday short..

We’re all in the kitchen; its breakfast and I’m making the porridge.

She’s knuckles deep in the mixed nuts, separating the almonds and he’s milling about, generally under my feet.

I don’t usually like them being in the kitchen when I’m cooking but they’ve gravitated back; I haven’t seen them for a while so I allow it.

He is learning to read and is able recognise certain letters, especially those in his name. His current phase is to mistake any word that begins with the first letter of his name for his name. It’s an interesting premise.

He points to the washing machine:

“That’s my name!”

No darling; it’s not.

“Yes it is!”

Well no, it’s not, because…..

“IT IS!”

He’s becoming upset.

Darling; you’re name isn’t Mixed Load.

“That’s not my name!?”

He sounded quite indignant.

BSD

November 8, 2017

Heart truly touched!

02:09 this morning, I was woken up by the sound of singing.

I lifted my head off of the pillow to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Yep. Definitely singing.

My initial, waking thought was one of terror, until remembered that the cubs were here and they had decided to share a bed that evening.

The feeling quickly turned to one of a protective dad, but as my confusion cleared, that clarity reassured me that it was my daughter’s voice.

All sounded ok; I lay my head down.

The next morning, I roused them with the usual rendition of ‘Good morning; good morning! You’ve slept the whole night through…’ and a barrage of kisses.

As they both came around, I asked if one of them had been singing last night.

“Yeah that was me..” said my daughter. She pointed at her brother.

“He couldn’t sleep and asked me to sing him a lullaby. I couldn’t remember one so I hummed to him instead until he went to sleep.”

I’m still sighing now, 13 hours later.

BSD

October 28, 2017

YAY! POO!

Moreover, perpetually smelling it.

As any parent of young cubs will know, poo plays quite a prominent role in your day.

Nappy changes, potty training and generally forgetting that toilets need flushing are all part of the jolly tapestry of the reward that is parenting.

Understand this; I’m a clean freak. My home is tidy for the majority of the time and I’m no fan of this ‘lived in’ philosophy. I prefer the showhome standpoint. My two beg to differ and occasionally, I’m happy to compromise.

The Saturday routine I had as a kid was that we would all chip in and help clean the house; this has extended into my adulthood.

Today was no different and the cubs are doing their rooms. Well my son isn’t but he’s only 3.

They were upstairs as I cleaned the kitchen. Occasionally I’d pop up, if only to restore some civil order where my son had wondered in to my daughter’s room and refused to leave.

As I neared, I was met by a poo haze, and my youngest in his favoured ‘mid poo’ squat.

Come on big man; time for a bum change.

‘Not finished yet!’ Was his customary reply and this time was no different. I waited.

His sister’s room was full of the most interesting funk so I opened the windows.

Eventually, he followed me. Before we went through the process I opened the windows. I do like open windows and whatever the weather, this is my first job on waking. A home benefits from a good blow through.

‘It’s a sloppy one daddy!’

I appreciated the warning, and the fact that his vocabulary is coming along so well.

Change done. No drama. He ran back to his sister’s room.

It smelt of poo, despite the windows being open. Hmmm.

I went downstairs with the offending package bagged up.

Downstairs smelt of poo.

I couldn’t understand it. Windows were open but it lingered.

I put the bag in the outside bin;

Outside smelt of poo.

By the time I came back in, both cubs were downstairs and hunting for snacks. My daughter looked at me, and screamed.

Well actually, it was more of a scream/laugh thing, accompanied by her pointing.

DAD! THERE’S POO ON YOUR NOSE!!

That explained it.

BSD.

October 25, 2017

Not quite ready…

For that conversation.

‘Daddy look at this!’

What is it darling?

‘These two pigeons on next door’s roof are fighting; they’re having an argument’

How so?

‘Yep they’re definitely arguing. One has climbed on top of the other one!’

I don’t think they’re arguing sweetie but it will probably end up that way.

I’m a romantic at heart.

BSD

October 24, 2017

Half term

‘Calamity Jane has anger issues’

According to my eldest cub.

‘She nearly shot someone in the cheek!’

I couldn’t disagree.

It had always been a favourite film of mine having had it forced upon me as a child by my parents. As such, when she came home singing about The Deadwood Stage, I gladly joined in.

She was surprised and happy, so all three of us had a singsong comprising of the words that we could remember.

We were even more surprised to find that in packing their bag for the week, their mum had included a DVD of the movie, still in the wrapper. On it went.

It had been a pretty uneventful day thus far and I was feeling sluggish as a result of an 05:45 start courtesy of my youngest.

During the week of half term, I had planned to alternate a day at home and a day out somewhere just to keep things balanced. A mix up earlier this month by the authorities had left me with bingo cash for the remainder of the month. I’d known things were going to be tight so I’d planned some cheap and cheerful activities to fill out time.

First things first, we indulged in a bit of housekeeping. During home day yesterday, the youngest cub decided to investigate and distribute a pack of loom bands around his sister’s room.

I don’t recall how much I paid for the pack of loom bands, but there seem to be roughly 4.5 million on the floor so I guess I got good value for money.

Luckily, she had the great idea of using the vacuum cleaner, once the cylinder was emptied so it actually became a non-issue.

Out of all the plans I’d had in my head today, we opted for the park in our old village. It’s a firm favourite and never disappoints.

The eldest clambered aboard her favourite apparatus; the death slide. The youngest watched as she whizzed past, whooping with joy.

He wanted some of the action.

They decided to both get on.

Initially, they asked me for help; but as I’m keen for them to develop independence, I told them to figure it out. I find that the rewards that come with hard work are so much sweeter and I hope to evolve that in them too.

Success

Both on, they had their first slide. Judging by the screams, it was everything they’d hoped for.

They sprinted back to the launch for round two. Their arrangement looked a little precarious but not wanting to be a helicopter parent, I stood back. The ground was covered in lovely, soft wood chips and pine so they wouldn’t come to harm even if they did have a spill.

Then, as with most human endeavour, confidence outweighed competence. Hands were coming off the slide in motion to wave in joy.

As they hit the stop, the halted motion whilst dampened, was enough to eject both passengers inverted.

She landed across her shoulders and neck; he, on top of her, landing on his face. Cue tears.

And mild concussion.

They’re fine.

I do not own the image above.

BSD

October 23, 2017November 4, 2017

Short one; buttons pushed.

It’s half term; the cubs are with me.

“Daddy; your room is bigger than mine”

Well I’m here all the time; you two are only here sometimes.

“Your bed is quite big though, but I think mummy gets annoyed with you when you snore in her face”

Yes well luckily mummy doesn’t have to put up with that anymore.

Not sure why that annoyed me so much….

BSD

October 18, 2017

Saturday’s adventure.

They wanted Seaworld. I wanted outdoors; the weather was too nice.

I did a quick search of places to visit with kids and up popped Millet’s Farm in Oxfordshire. We’d been before for various reasons but on this occasions their falconry centre caught my eye.

My eldest wants to be an explorer and as such, she is already a keen naturalist. My youngest likes Angry Birds and in particular ‘Mighty Eagle’ so win win.

Wrong

I herded them across the car-park and towards the separate entrance to the Falconry Centre.

In a touch of Pied Piper marketing genius, I had to walk them through a well resourced, adventure playground, a trampoline park and a merry-go-round to get to the entrance. By the time we had got there, sparks were coming off of the heels of the youngest and he was on the edge of tears.

Luckily, this was the view from the cash-desk..

The bigger of the two birds, which I initially thought was a Golden Eagle, turned out to be a juvenile Bald (Mighty) Eagle.

A quick ‘Hey guys; look through there…’ soon gave rise to gasps of excitement. We went in. As is now the norm, the eldest got to take the photos, apart from the video below, where I tried desperately to catch the Eagle’s cry..

It turned away at the precise moment.

They have a dazzling array of Birds of Prey, including Owls and you can get quite close to them.

My daughter got a little too close to this one; the resulting warning cry stopped her in her tracks.

She once stroked a Swan when we went to feed the ducks when she was three. It was pretty startled but as it was bigger than her and she had bread in her other hand, she was tolerated.

I’ll have to train that out of her before she starts encountering bigger animals.

They also have some other animals, such as Raccoons and Meerkats and we stood and watched a family have a close encounter with them (at extra cost).

The keepers were very knowledgeable and happy to answer questions.

This Boobook Owl was on his way back from the flying field when this keeper got papped and then quizzed. It’s a lovely looking creature that has that look like it has just overheard the most profane of words.

file pic

As with any zoological institution, there was the question of morality. As we walked around some of the birds were naturally startled and flew to the furthest reaches of their aviaries, only to be met by netting.

To Millet’s credit, all of the birds looked healthy and the whole place was meticulously clean. Their conservation statement can be viewed here and what they write is promising. The decline in some species in the UK is worrying.

All in all, this centre is well worth a visit and pretty good value for money too. Even with one ride for all of us on the Carousel, the whole day cost just under £30.

I’ve no idea what this is; the sign fell over.

BSD

This is not a sponsored post.

October 17, 2017

Not in the mood…

I picked my youngest cub up from nursery and asked the usual question; how was your day?

The gentle snores told me he wasn’t in the mood for talking.

BSD

October 16, 2017October 15, 2017

Gingerbread men; all over again.

With the memory of our last escapade behind her, my daughter and I have ventured into the kitchen again. She’s been asking since Thursday if we can bake together; a request I couldn’t refuse. We opted for gingerbread men.

It was gorgeous today. The colloquial term is an Indian Summer, meaning that we had unseasonably warm temperatures so I took us all off to the play-park where we used to live.

It elicits mixed emotions but good ones on the whole. The village itself is bucolic perfection and the play-park is in keeping. It was full of young families who had a similar thought process to me.

On the way home we stopped off at the supermarket to pick up a few items for the bake. Then back to the corner shop for some that I’d forgotten. I really should make lists again.

Back home, the Kindle HD was fired up and ‘Gingerbread’ tapped into the search engine. Good old BBC Food came up first, so they got the honour.

My son was happy on a chair in the kitchen watching the proceedings, no doubt eagerly awaiting the end result.

Regulars (I have regulars!) will remember me saying that I needed to buy some extra bits in order to bake successfully a while back. Well I still need to buy them.

There was more than a little ‘At mum’s house we have that…’ which I duly ignored. Golden Syrup was subbed with honey and the imaginary scales that I was certain I had failed to materialise, so much was done by sight.

At this point, I realised that things weren’t going well but we pressed on…

I quickly learnt that flour doesn’t stick to a pint glass and a pint glass is a poor substitute for a rolling pin. No matter; onwards.

The cookie cutters became moulds, as this hateful mess refused to go anywhere I wanted in it’s entirety. The cubs were pretty happy though as they got the job of cleaning the utensils and mixing bowl.

In the oven they went.

Out the oven they came.

Yes. I even added some chocolate chunks for buttons and eyes, or a groin and shin judging by the previous photo. Now was the hard bit; sit and wait for 10 minutes before decorating…

Before we go any further, I realise that the cutters are cutters and not moulds but the viscosity of the mixture was such that I was on to a loser. Into the oven they went.

With the cubs waiting with baited breath, I made my move to seperate man from mould.

They crumbled and so did she. Cue tears.

15 minutes later I had managed to rouse a do-or-die spirit within her and back she came to decorate. Her brother and her sharing the stool and eating more than they decorated but hey; that’s the point isn’t it.

I really need to go shopping.