Today served as a stark reminder

Time waits for no one.

Nothing I didn’t know and I’m sure you’re the same. Let me talk you through this one.

Sunday is the day that my ex and I plan childcare arrangements for the week ahead. We actually do this a month at a time, but Sunday is confirmation day. This week, it was also when we entered ‘Meet Year 3 teachers‘ for this afternoon at 16:30.

Head down in projects and deadlines I lifted it above the parapet at 16:10. No drama; the drive isn’t far and work is flexible enough for me to pick up the slack later.

Driving affords me the great opportunity to be alone with my thoughts

I’ve known where my priorities are ever since my first born came into the world. Parenthood had a profound affect on me, and where I had been a career driven promotion hungry chap before that day, my focus undoubtedly changed when I became a dad.

I got to the classroom one minute late (time means a lot to me) and squeezed my huge frame into those chairs that are perfect for little people. The two new teachers were at the front, presenting; the parents were scattered around the classroom on a combination of chairs and desks (If only I’d been a couple of minutes earlier..) and our respective children playing and reading quietly on the far side of the classroom.

Then, a no so subtle signal that I’d got my priorities right; my daughter looked up from what she was doing and spotted her daddy across the classroom. Without hesitation, she stood up, made her way through her soon to be teachers, through the parents (who were smiling, knowing where she was heading) made it over to my side and threw her arms around me. Decision qualified.

School 1

This is not the focal point of this entry. My point is this; it quite literally seems like yesterday that I walked her into school on her very first day. It all seemed so wrong! she was my baby! she’s way too young! she’s not used to these people or this place etc… She was still so small and vulnerable. I took a photograph of her in her new uniform and shiny shoes as she sat on a bench outside the classroom, waiting for her day to start.

That yesterday was actually 3 years ago.

crayons

Life does not hang about waiting for us to make the right decisions; we have to get up, get out and live. We make decisions without knowing if they’re life changing or not; those effects won’t show themselves until years later but, we have to do what we feel is right.

For me, the right decision is to put my cubs first. A missed deadline, an unanswered email or an embittered boss will pale into insignificance in 12 months but my daughter remembering that her daddy was at sports day, at the summer dance, at the nativity and at the teacher meet will last forever.

Choose wisely; you don’t get that time back.

stop time

BSD

CONTROLLING THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS – time to stop running and start hunting. pt.2

What is coaching?

Coaching is a way of improving your ability or performance. We tend to associate coaching with athletes but more and more we see it in the world of work and even daily life.

What does coaching look like?

It quite often happens on a one to one ratio (the most effective way) with the coach and the student. The coach will observe a specific act, performance or behaviour, analyse and then tweak that performance through a number of means in order for the individual to improve in some way.

Why are you discussing coaching? A moment ago we were talking about limiting beliefs?

The two are connected.

So what is the connection?

  • Imagine if you had a coach.
  • One who followed you around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
  • A coach that never takes a holiday, rarely sleeps and better still, works for free.
  • A coach that knows you better than anyone else on Earth; knows your strengths and more importantly, your weaknesses.
  • A coach that really, doesn’t care if they upset you or even reduce you to tears.

I think you know where i’m going with this one.

So ok. We have a coach inside our head who sometimes works against us. Sometimes, it thinks it’s being cruel to be kind. Most of the times, it’s not a very smart coach. Always, absolutely always, it’s an effective coach.

Limiting beliefs>internal thoughts>inner coach..

Thoughts become things

I’d love to claim this one but it’s been around for a while. The power of the mind to create the physical environment has long been recognised and quick search of the internet will show you examples.

Have you ever wondered why a day that starts badly often ends badly and vice versa? Let’s be honest; a day is just a day. We will leave a footprint on that point in time and give it a title, in order to categorise it in our memories.

‘Good’ days have a positive effect on us and therefore anything that happens during that good day will be thought of positively. Again, vice versa, things that happen on a ‘bad’ day will be reflected on badly.

But as I said earlier, a day is just a day. We make it what it is and our internal coach has a huge part to play in that.

Success

I apologise for this cheesiness of this pic but, you get it; right?

Part 3 next week, where I do what I say I’ll do.

I’ve also tried something new; sticking this post to the front page. Let’s see how that works.

BSD

Dinner table conversation. 

We’re all pretty tired and the cubs are both showing signs of fatigue; short tempers, edge of tears, you know the routine.

The youngest takes delight in leaning from his high chair and pointing at the gap in the eldest’s front teeth. Repeatedly stating, in his speak, that she has teeth missing.

She leans towards him, takes a deep breath and blows vigorously into his face.

For my son, this is kryptonite. 

He recoils and bursts into floods of tears, repeatedly saying no.

I tell her to stop, reminding her that at some point the tables will turn. He will be bigger and stronger than she can imagine.

Her response made me chuckle..

Does that mean that until then I can do him harm?

No my darling; no it does not.