And I don’t appear to be able to control it.
Allow me to elaborate. There is a lady on the school run, well actually she’s the mum of one of my daughter’s friends. She’s also one of the carers in after-school club and I can’t stop this inappropriate reflex when in her presence.
It’s happened about 7 times now. No, not about 7 times, 7 times. Exactly 7 times. I’ve counted.
It happens when I sign my daughter out of the club and we have a conversation. She’s a lovely lady and we get on really well; we always have done.
As I sign the time and we say our goodbyes, it happens. It always happens.
I wink, and walk away.
As I walk away I always, always ask myself why the heck I just did that? but whenever it’s her, I always do.
Now let me add some back story here. I have no intentions towards this lovely lady. She has a great personality and is attractive but I have no improper intent towards her for a multitude of reasons, not least because she’s not interested and that she has a fantastic husband who I regularly converse with whenever we see one another.
I started to think it harmless and she doesn’t respond in any way but I think I’m now conditioned to close our conversations in that way.
Not just her
I’ve only ever caught myself doing it once before, in a meeting with the Head Mistress of the school when we thought my daughter was being bullied. After a rather terse exchange I threw a wink and cheeky smile combo which wouldn’t have looked out-of-place in a bar.
With the speed of an echo she threw one back and met my smile with one of her own. I felt uncomfortable. I, felt uncomfortable!
I dismissed it as a nervous response to my wink which was so out-of-place in the whole conversation.
I did try to stifle a wink once but the result was a cross between a sneeze and a medical episode.
I feel like a cad from a vintage film.
I’m laughing at this now but it could be fever.